new moon in libra self-reflection

New moon in Libra
Themes:

Heart break transformative pain and new relationships 
Question for this new moon:

What is holding you back from being your best self? 

    Libra is a sign ruled by the planet venus, in western astrology, Venus represents the goddess of love and beauty, a value of symbols attributed to Libra and Taurus. Libra and Taurus are considered sister signs. Superficially, these signs rule beauty, money, falling in love, sensuality, materialism and material objects, vanity and selfishness.
    The daughters of my grandmother an Aries, are both Libra. My mother and my aunt, my cousin, my aunt’s daughter is also a Libra, and I am a Taurus. A lot of people believe astrology is a system that programs people to believe in stereotypes and broad ideas that apply to nearly everyone. I agree that astrology is a blueprint of energy that can create specific patterns that apply to everyone in general. Your sun sign can speak to you in general ways. I agree that astrology has a grasp on personality stereotypes as well. 
    But I also believe, that astrology can speak to the programmed and established reality. That by decoding certain systems you can undo a whole matrix system that is firmly planted as an established control system in your brain therefore having the option to continue with this established system OR break the “personality”. The personality is what you have inherited as yours through it being passed down, as a reaction to the initial triggers within your childhood environment. If your family had good habits, you will have good habits, you will be orderly and intuitively you will gravitate towards orderly environments where you can establish daily routines, and order. But maybe, there will be little emotional depth and self-expression, these last two will then be the “unconcious” qualities you have, but are unexpressed. Or like me, maybe you grew up in a family of judgment and criticism that defined femininity as passivity, motherhood, and having a marriage. Every woman, not just in my family, but in my community, establishes their personality through these conscious values, motherhood, domestic work, and feeding their childrens or husbands, having a husband. The most highly valued women in my community, have husbands and marry. The lowest valued women are unmarried but have partners who usually are struggling with addiction and constantly fail as providers. 
    Imagine that observing this system as a child, you refuse it. YOU simply say Nope, not going to do that. So you become an outcast, the rebel child. First, you refuse to be perceived as “pretty”. That meant to abandon any sort of personal style or self-expression. That meant abandoning partnerships and relationships, dating, going out to date. That meant abandoning a part of my self-esteem and self-expression to go as far as becoming unattractive to my own self. It’s not only saying No, but going against imposed traditions, rejecting them, rebelling against them, fighting against it, and thus, fighting a part of yourself. Like if all women were born wearing handcuffs and suddenly you are born without hands. Is it really the hand that is bad or the cuff? 
    I discovered that in my process of self liberation I had cut off a hand. I had created a problem with my self worth and self esteem, I had become codependent to anger and really, to a wound that still unconsciously tied me to my feminine lineage and all the women that came before me, who had also severed a part of their soul, by implanting in their daughters chains instead of freedom of choice. 
    But, this does not sound like astrology! What does this have to do with my horoscope? Astrology holds a key in recognizing long held patterns inside your DNA, that are evoked through conscious and unconcious structures that create human struggle. Astrology is sustained only through an assumption that we come from the stars, or that our consciousness finds a mirror reflection in the movement of the stars, and as far fetched as this may sound, this is why natal charts can be scary accurate. Not just because they are able to pinpoint specific parts of the personality, but the structure behind what creates that personality. Obviously, astrologers are also caught in this personality illusion, and most of them read horoscopes and generalized patterns instead of tapping further into symbolism and meaning.
    I redefine astrology as 
1. Observation of the cycles of the main planets of our solar system, and then other prominent stars in the night sky. 
2. Observation of how what is above, connects to what is down below. 
And 3rd, inner observation, inner study and inner focus, to be aligned with your own gifts, energy and self-fulfillment. 
    This new moon in libra is an opportunity to identify what we have fractured, fragmented or cut off in order to be part of a group, family, or community, OR in order to reject a group, family or community. It is an opportunity to unite with true freedom, which is not found in being accepted by or you rejecting, but by inner balance. Decision is not in a yes or no answer, it is a process of self-integration, of listening quietly to your innermost self. Can you tune in to your frequency? Or are you held back by voices that hurt, that criticize, judge and ultimately obstruct your process of forgiveness and love?
    Judging our family, but especially our mothers or fathers, is a judgment of the creative energy that gave us life and will also give us death. Judging our current reality brings a sense of moral superiority that is false, until you tune in to your own unique purpose, you will realize you actually belong here, you belong to a family, a group and community. You belong to human connection and warmth. The world is in chaos because it feeds separation, war, and violence. But by acting the same way we do not become free, it is just as if we were cutting off our hearts, or souls in an attempt to punish the world for the way it is. The only person we are truly punishing is ourselves, in that process we also condemn the world to more karmic suffering. 
    We need real work, especially within our communities. We can stop giving so much to social value and social relationships that actually only cuddle our insecurities. We give value to having material things that mean nothing, because they are perishable. Having an cellphone means you can communicate, but having an iphone, means it looks good and you invested lots of money on it. But when there is no substance behind your communication, an iphone or any phone whatsoever is idiotic, and also turns you idiotic, scrolling endlessly through social media, hours wasted in insecure comparison to others, gossip and watching news about famous people that are only pretty externally, only wealthy materially, but do not have any significant values, or carry any significant message. 
    I studied journalism because I wanted to communicate because I felt I had something to say. I write now, because of the same reason. The masses of communication are taken up by ideas that erode true intelligence, reason and logic. Which is where many mistake astrology for crap, because it is not grounded in reality, or science, or materialism, or whatever. But when you have the results in yourself- that is astrology helped me transform my personality, my body, my self-love and expression, my relationships, my family, my everything… except one thing. Materially astrology has not given me stable employment. But I am willing to take a risk, because I rather read a natal chart, give a good introspective session, than have a stable job, get a fancy cellphone, go shopping to distract myself from my coming death and superficiality and that I actually feel empty inside because I have no purpose. The problem is not the stable job, anyway, it is having no values that sustain inner discipline or self-esteem. 
    I had many problems because of my rebel nature and my contradictory ideas, studying journalism, but not nursing like my mother wanted me to, choosing to travel when I did not have a stable job, choosing to go in a weight loss journey without a gym membership… etc.  
    Now, I can choose to be part of my community, even go as far, as having a stable job for the sake of personal stability, but I know deep within myself, that a job or money does not define me, it is just a means to an end, a means of building a new structure based on real values, real self-worth and esteem for myself, my community, my family and my whole ancestry tree. 
    Small sacrifices can lead to a long term project. This new moon you can plant a seed, even shed a sacrifice, what can you let go of to make space for this wonderful new creation? Your new found sense of love and inner peace, the most precious gift.