new moon in libra self-reflection

New moon in Libra
Themes:

Heart break transformative pain and new relationships 
Question for this new moon:

What is holding you back from being your best self? 

    Libra is a sign ruled by the planet venus, in western astrology, Venus represents the goddess of love and beauty, a value of symbols attributed to Libra and Taurus. Libra and Taurus are considered sister signs. Superficially, these signs rule beauty, money, falling in love, sensuality, materialism and material objects, vanity and selfishness.
    The daughters of my grandmother an Aries, are both Libra. My mother and my aunt, my cousin, my aunt’s daughter is also a Libra, and I am a Taurus. A lot of people believe astrology is a system that programs people to believe in stereotypes and broad ideas that apply to nearly everyone. I agree that astrology is a blueprint of energy that can create specific patterns that apply to everyone in general. Your sun sign can speak to you in general ways. I agree that astrology has a grasp on personality stereotypes as well. 
    But I also believe, that astrology can speak to the programmed and established reality. That by decoding certain systems you can undo a whole matrix system that is firmly planted as an established control system in your brain therefore having the option to continue with this established system OR break the “personality”. The personality is what you have inherited as yours through it being passed down, as a reaction to the initial triggers within your childhood environment. If your family had good habits, you will have good habits, you will be orderly and intuitively you will gravitate towards orderly environments where you can establish daily routines, and order. But maybe, there will be little emotional depth and self-expression, these last two will then be the “unconcious” qualities you have, but are unexpressed. Or like me, maybe you grew up in a family of judgment and criticism that defined femininity as passivity, motherhood, and having a marriage. Every woman, not just in my family, but in my community, establishes their personality through these conscious values, motherhood, domestic work, and feeding their childrens or husbands, having a husband. The most highly valued women in my community, have husbands and marry. The lowest valued women are unmarried but have partners who usually are struggling with addiction and constantly fail as providers. 
    Imagine that observing this system as a child, you refuse it. YOU simply say Nope, not going to do that. So you become an outcast, the rebel child. First, you refuse to be perceived as “pretty”. That meant to abandon any sort of personal style or self-expression. That meant abandoning partnerships and relationships, dating, going out to date. That meant abandoning a part of my self-esteem and self-expression to go as far as becoming unattractive to my own self. It’s not only saying No, but going against imposed traditions, rejecting them, rebelling against them, fighting against it, and thus, fighting a part of yourself. Like if all women were born wearing handcuffs and suddenly you are born without hands. Is it really the hand that is bad or the cuff? 
    I discovered that in my process of self liberation I had cut off a hand. I had created a problem with my self worth and self esteem, I had become codependent to anger and really, to a wound that still unconsciously tied me to my feminine lineage and all the women that came before me, who had also severed a part of their soul, by implanting in their daughters chains instead of freedom of choice. 
    But, this does not sound like astrology! What does this have to do with my horoscope? Astrology holds a key in recognizing long held patterns inside your DNA, that are evoked through conscious and unconcious structures that create human struggle. Astrology is sustained only through an assumption that we come from the stars, or that our consciousness finds a mirror reflection in the movement of the stars, and as far fetched as this may sound, this is why natal charts can be scary accurate. Not just because they are able to pinpoint specific parts of the personality, but the structure behind what creates that personality. Obviously, astrologers are also caught in this personality illusion, and most of them read horoscopes and generalized patterns instead of tapping further into symbolism and meaning.
    I redefine astrology as 
1. Observation of the cycles of the main planets of our solar system, and then other prominent stars in the night sky. 
2. Observation of how what is above, connects to what is down below. 
And 3rd, inner observation, inner study and inner focus, to be aligned with your own gifts, energy and self-fulfillment. 
    This new moon in libra is an opportunity to identify what we have fractured, fragmented or cut off in order to be part of a group, family, or community, OR in order to reject a group, family or community. It is an opportunity to unite with true freedom, which is not found in being accepted by or you rejecting, but by inner balance. Decision is not in a yes or no answer, it is a process of self-integration, of listening quietly to your innermost self. Can you tune in to your frequency? Or are you held back by voices that hurt, that criticize, judge and ultimately obstruct your process of forgiveness and love?
    Judging our family, but especially our mothers or fathers, is a judgment of the creative energy that gave us life and will also give us death. Judging our current reality brings a sense of moral superiority that is false, until you tune in to your own unique purpose, you will realize you actually belong here, you belong to a family, a group and community. You belong to human connection and warmth. The world is in chaos because it feeds separation, war, and violence. But by acting the same way we do not become free, it is just as if we were cutting off our hearts, or souls in an attempt to punish the world for the way it is. The only person we are truly punishing is ourselves, in that process we also condemn the world to more karmic suffering. 
    We need real work, especially within our communities. We can stop giving so much to social value and social relationships that actually only cuddle our insecurities. We give value to having material things that mean nothing, because they are perishable. Having an cellphone means you can communicate, but having an iphone, means it looks good and you invested lots of money on it. But when there is no substance behind your communication, an iphone or any phone whatsoever is idiotic, and also turns you idiotic, scrolling endlessly through social media, hours wasted in insecure comparison to others, gossip and watching news about famous people that are only pretty externally, only wealthy materially, but do not have any significant values, or carry any significant message. 
    I studied journalism because I wanted to communicate because I felt I had something to say. I write now, because of the same reason. The masses of communication are taken up by ideas that erode true intelligence, reason and logic. Which is where many mistake astrology for crap, because it is not grounded in reality, or science, or materialism, or whatever. But when you have the results in yourself- that is astrology helped me transform my personality, my body, my self-love and expression, my relationships, my family, my everything… except one thing. Materially astrology has not given me stable employment. But I am willing to take a risk, because I rather read a natal chart, give a good introspective session, than have a stable job, get a fancy cellphone, go shopping to distract myself from my coming death and superficiality and that I actually feel empty inside because I have no purpose. The problem is not the stable job, anyway, it is having no values that sustain inner discipline or self-esteem. 
    I had many problems because of my rebel nature and my contradictory ideas, studying journalism, but not nursing like my mother wanted me to, choosing to travel when I did not have a stable job, choosing to go in a weight loss journey without a gym membership… etc.  
    Now, I can choose to be part of my community, even go as far, as having a stable job for the sake of personal stability, but I know deep within myself, that a job or money does not define me, it is just a means to an end, a means of building a new structure based on real values, real self-worth and esteem for myself, my community, my family and my whole ancestry tree. 
    Small sacrifices can lead to a long term project. This new moon you can plant a seed, even shed a sacrifice, what can you let go of to make space for this wonderful new creation? Your new found sense of love and inner peace, the most precious gift.

awakening goddess

week of oct. 13- oct. 19:

moods of this week

for accessing astrology placements go here https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/current-planets-astrology-transits-planetary-positions

This week brings a cathartic transmutation of our emotional reactivity, that can be through causing the following symptoms: exploding, obsessing, or simply spiraling in a negative pattern of the past. This is the conjunction of Mars and Mercury. Each planet represents a function of the psyche. In this blog, you will gain a deeper understanding of why each planet relates to the psyche, what that means and how to use this. But this is the first post so be patient.

Each sign a region of the cosmos as the earth rotates on its axis. What is happening, cosmically, is that we are in an inner struggle with a vampire OR if you want to imagine it as a vortex of coincidences that drain energy through making you lose purpose, focus, or vitality. This is because the conjunction is in the sign of Scorpio, meaning, these entities that we are struggling with are part of a demonic pact that we have inherited through blood and thus, sex, reproductive chains within our lineage. 

Though, not everyone experiences this at the same level of consciousness. We filter this energy given the personality, identity and cultural group we belong in. It is not the same for someone who lives in a rural community with limited access to education, as someone in the city with a more open sense of gender and sexuality, or someone raised in a conservative family and living under the same traditions of their family for monetary purposes. 

But no matter, we all share a sense of purpose, because at our core all humans are looking to understand themselves deeper, either through power, roles or sex. We all have deep identities with things that make us whole, and therefore things that trigger our growth. This is ultimately the purpose of all cosmic alignments, to trigger growth of consciousness. 

Monday: Moon conjunction jupiter, Mars approaching alignment with mercury.

We start the week feeling benevolent and generous, our ego is exalted and grateful to be alive,we start feeling like we have some type of grand thing to show to the world. But unconsciously, we are climbing into a trap because this week mercury and mars will align rupturing through emotional wounds and deep seated anger. 

When the moon is conjunct jupiter our emotions become magnified and we tend to idealize

and filter these emotions through an *I am Good* and I see myself in a positive light, which often

becomes as well, *And everyone unlike me is not good* what I mean, there is a social righteousness, that masks our desire to be judged as beneficial, there are masks seeking validation and approval.

But if the moods change? Do you still feel good about yourself? Or do these highs create intense lows?

Tuesday, Venus enters Libra

After being opposite to saturn, all last week - which let me discuss, because it was quite the opposition. An opposition in astrology is a tension that is felt deep within the psyche, a fragmentation, usually you identify with one of the opposing planets. Venus opposite Saturn brings a conflict of the past, especially revolving authority figures like grandparents, elders, or teachers, it puts at odds with youthfulness. This I can see more clearly, if we examine that in the last centuries most women were held to punishing standards of worth and value related to tradition, religion and social judgements that punished sexuality and female reproductive autonomy. Women come from a repression of their rights, bodies and even menstrual cycles.

From this conflict, stems another generation of women with self-esteem issues and a deep sense of rebellion, sexual freedom and empowerment, but also women who compare to other women in terms of success, who forget to reclaim their emotional freedom. That is women, who are drained of their magnetism and then get caught in oppressive relationships with their cultural group or communities, women who also become successful in the eyes of men and capitalism but sometimes, sacrifice healthy relationships with themselves, their families and romantic partners. This is the opposition with Saturn, where young women can reject the past or break from it too furiously, not out of clarity, but out of self-victimization and martyrdom. Pay attention to this pattern, because when unobserved it becomes a prison of destructive relationships, you cannot help yourself, even if you love them you seek ways to destroy what you love.

When Venus enters Libra, we can feel more in harmony or at least more confident in that we can have better relationships, but there is still a deep incline to feeling misunderstood and unloved as Saturn is still quite opposite Venus' path in the sky. The need for validation starts to grow deeper. validation comes when you are not doing the work on your worth. But I do! But I do feel like I am the baddest bitch!  Watch me dance, watch me blah blah blah. That is moon conjunct Jupiter, false sense of optimism based on voices that mask our ego instead of going deeper. Working on value does not imply positivity based on comparing your worth to others, being the best, baddest, or highest is still a comparison. Working on your worth is a discernment of what gives you real worth and value, in this case, for this generation, it is the flagellated part of women that become the most valuable, what were you punished for? What have you been rejected for? What have you been fooled into rejecting about yourself, your family and cultural group? Through self-study, wisdom, and purpose you create a true confidence and begin to care and value yourself more deeply, not relying on being watched by others to be perceived as beautiful, wealthy, or successful.

Most of our worth is defined by social media and social groups. Venus in libra brings a consciousness of trying to find balance and inner peace and sometimes that requires taking time off mirrors, screens and comparison.  In fact, spending time by yourself is a tool of bringing back your focus and attention to yourself. If you don’t want to hear it in my voice, hear Maya Angelou, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M4jxroQNrI

Wednesday Air trine between Pluto Venus and Uranus 

Today we have so many communications and specially, feeling airs of revolution

around our idea of love. Everyone is feeling like something is changing. But everyone understands this at different levels of depth. Similarly, there are pressures to evolve to a different level of understanding our purpose, path, like we are seeking something deeper.

Today, can be a good day for starting new patterns of speaking to oneself as a way to remember our essence. Think of what bothers you right now, think of how someone who unconditionally loved you would speak to you, console you and nourish you. and say it, speak it, console yourself and unconditionally love yourself through one act of service. Practice this every day. 

Thursday moon in leo squaring to mercury and mars in scorpio 

We see an eruption of anger or movement forwards. Moon in leo exalts our ego.

Let's speak a little about the ego to carl jung, the ego is  the center of consciousness responsible for personality and identity.  Leo rules ego, the heart and light conciousness and creativity. MOST IMPORTANTLY, Leo rules the inner child.

Mars and mercury speak of the transmutation of the lower mind to process deep seated anger.

Anger is a source of draining energy, which establishes vampiric relationships. When our anger is triggered our power  of control is taken away, vital energy is also drained because the body feels triggered. Emotional manipulators love people who react emotionally, either through victimizing, martyrdom and anger… These reactions  are replays of drama. When our ego is triggered by some sort of external situation, instead of reacting, we can step back, breath and integrate. The ego becomes triggered by emotions that threaten the protective layers of personality, under there... Under there is true conciousness.

To breath through being triggered, is like consoling the inner child having a tantrum, this is extremely difficult to do! But in realizing, that we are not just our identity and the stories we have told ourselves about ourselves, what is correct and what is not correct. When we stop seeing ourselves as just our identity and lived experiences, we connect to a deeper sense of awareness, we no longer seek reactions or manipulative relationships,

but a deeper awareness of needing time to reflect, let go and surrender to a new way of being. 

Friday, Saturday and Sunday

sun in a triangle square to chiron and jupiter

venus and the moon conjunct opposite neptune and saturn 

This week started with a conjunction of the moon and Jupiter in the sign of cancer, and it ends with the potentialized energy of these planets, that is a reawakening of intuition (moon) and spiritual purpose (Jupiter). Through healing - sun square quiron and jupiter, or in this case emotional alchemy.

The masks of superficiality are a tool of enlightenment if used properly, as the week finishes off, the moon is drained half of its full moon light (full moon in Aries October 7th), so we see a deeper connection than a weekly calendar. This connection is a deep internal healing of the divine feminine. We have two parts of our psyche, we have a father and a mother, a left hand and a right heart, humans represent the balance between light and darkness, death and life, this is simply the world we live in. But we only have ONE heart, ONE brain, ONE mouth. The heart, the brain and mouth are conductors of consciousness, and human beings whether they believe it or not, are ONE consciousness that has been trapped in a war against itself, it's own people, and human race (sun square).

Women or the divine feminine are used to further increase the breach in our consciousness, we are used in the most obvious ways that sometimes even we support, misunderstanding the system within us. Misunderstanding that our brain is plugged into a false sense of energy that is not our own, but a subtle, malefic, brainwashing. And the most obvious way to understand this, is through your relationships, romantic or familial. The shadow of the moon and  feminine power is surrendering our dreams and therefore magnetism to relationships that disrespect our essense. In romantic relationships, we become our mothers, focused on nurturing and creating a third being, becoming angry when men take and reciprocate the least they are able to. In family relationships, we become children with insecurities or abandonment issues, even as adult women, still demanding that our mothers change or become good mothers, when in reality our mothers are independent beings, they were not meant to be mothers for their WHOLE lifes, do you see how unjust is to demand another soul to always nurture you, or nurture you in the RIGHT ways? We get stuck in the past, never growing up, always asking another to take care of us when we feel vulnerable.

That is the issue. WHEN WE FEEL, feelings and moods are momentary, they pass like clouds in our consciousness. But instead of allowing our emotions to teach us, by observing them, we tend to attend our emotional needs through asking sometimes, begging another human to nurture, attend, or care for our vulnerability that is when we become emotionally drained and enter these vampiric emotional patterns or habits that make us codependent, make us compare, make us fractured. 

When we govern our emotional world, we govern our moon. IN astrology, the moon rules feelings, emotions, the past, karma within our blood, and our mothers' and maternal grandmother. This is especially important if you are healing mother wounds, healing worth and magnetism, controlling your emotions, containing your emotions, is a form of relentless inner love, that fights for you, that defends you, that protects you, without needing to react in a defensive or angry way. Without needing to be exhausted defending your identity over and over again. When you know what you are, there is no need to react. Instead, you begin using your emotions to create your dreams instead of your prisons.

This essay is inspired by Master Shi Heng Yi and his teachings especially in relationship to womanhood and self-discipline, "Don't surrender your magnetism, don't surrender your clarity

or peace." Instead preserve your energy to create your dreams, many great women have also said this, but I chose to cite Master Shi Heng Yi for his guiding clarity, mental discernment and guiding divine masculine strength.